Absurd & Weird Stories: June 2011

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Know someone with a foot fetish? Paris does….

Know someone with a foot fetish? Paris does....

An alleged foot fetishist has bee arrested in France after he would coerce unsuspecting foreign women to his home which he shared with his father near Paris, he would promise the women a bed but instead pleasured himself on their feet.

The undisclosed man, aged 42, reportedly from Mantes-la-Jolie which is to the west of Paris, is alleged to have approached young women at night after they missed the last train and offered them somewhere to sleep.

Once back at his property, he told the women that he was a chiropodist and began massaging the unsuspecting women's feet, he would then move on to sucking their toes and then self masturbating against their feet.

As a good citizen he would return the women to the train station the next morning.

A complaint lodged by a South Korean woman led police to open an inquiry during which they found three other women allegedly attacked in a similar way between 2008 and 2011.

"He doesn't feel that he did them any harm, he says that they were consenting," a source close to the inquiry told AFP.

The unemployed man who lives with his father will appear in court on July 25, pending psychological tests and to give the man time to prepare his defence.

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Ivan Stoiljkovic real life Magneto

This is as weird as they come, a 6 year old boy in Croatia has scientists in amazement, as it is reported that the 6 year old can Ivan is able to attract metal objects to his chest.

The croatian boy's weird abilities are at their peak in the morning or when he's calm.

It's believed Ivan can hold more than 20kg of metal on his chest. His parents say he's always been a little strange after walking at 8 months and rollerblading at just 15 months.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Gun Statistics

Guns - How people kill each other It has been estimated that there are over 30 million handguns owned by American citizens, which is several fold what the U.S. military owns. (which I think is the most absurd!)

The following list, which is based on the statistics for the period 1985-1989, represents the odds that you will wind up on the right or wrong side of a gun:

Own Gun 11 in 25

Killed by Firearm 1 in 4,600

Killed by Handgun 1 in 6,100

Killed by Rifle 1 in 63,000

Killed by Shotgun 1 in 45,000

Source: FBI Uniform Crime Reports

£15,000 lunch money

£15,000 lunch money Bullies are typically known for asking for lunch money which is usually a very small amount. This time in Germany the bullies got too greedy and demanded €17,000 which is approximately £15,000. The boy was told that he would have to hand over the money soon and was threatened with violence if he failed to hand over the money.

The blackmailing had originally begun with small amounts of money but over the course of two years it has kept increasing to the point in which the boy began to steal from his father. This is what alerted the father as the boy attempted to steal €17,000. According to the German police the parents used to keep large amounts of money around the house and did not notice when the child stole smaller amounts.

Police said that only a small amount of money has been recovered as most of the money had been spent on clothes and video games. Unfortunately the boys were too young to be prosecuted.

Monday, June 27, 2011

What is the Best Day for hooking up?

What is the Best Day for hooking up? Bring on the hump day - WEDNESDAY

Did you know the odds of hooking up with a new lover are better on a Wednesday than any other day of the week.

The 'distinguished' Researchers at world renowned US dating site OkCupid have reported you're more likely to get laid on a Wednesday night due to the fact that more people who are up for it are out looking for it.

The site has created a "sexual availability index", which combines four personal qualities of its members.

It measured: naming casual sex as a romantic priority; keenness for sex on a first date; identifying as extroverted; and, regarding oneself as adventurous.

Then it matched the frisky members with a high sexual availability rating with the singles' social routine.

The result showed that weekdays are markedly better than weekends, and Wednesday the day better suited to strike while most are at their friskiest.

Of course the more you drink and the thicker the 'beer goggles' become the greated chance of success rise during a night.

La Trobe University Centre for Sex, Health and Society professor Anthony Smith said the results reflected the hook-up habits of Australian singles.

"It could be that the midweek thing is when they say 'I'm going to go out and get a root', whereas on the weekend they go out for dinner with friends."

Manager at Melbourne's La Di Da bar, Simone Kirk, said Thursday got her hump day vote.

"On takings, and the kind of drinks they're ordering (it's Thursday)," she said.

"You see them huddled up on the couches and after-work drinks start earlier."

Consumers need Protecting against Sex Toys?

Yet again GERMANY is in the weird stories category and this time it is the Green party who have asked for a government enquiry into excessive levels of potentially dangerous ingredients in toys used for sexual enjoyment.

"Consumers must be protected when it comes to sexual health. Feigned embarrassment or false taboos should not prevent information getting out and checks being done," MP Volker Beck declared yesterday.

The Green's want the current Chancellor Mrs Angela Merkel's government to look into legal limits to the levels of certain chemicals in dildos, vibrators and other sex aids and announce plans to reduce risk.

Studies in recent years have shown that plastic sex toys contain high levels of substances like phthalate, thought to upset hormone levels in women and cause infertility and diabetes, the Greens claimed.

If you are looking for Lingerie, be sure to check out Dreamy.com.au

Foil in Bra Lets Female Smuggler Down

Foil in Bra Lets Female Smuggler Down

Two women, one in the early fifties and one aged 44 will appear in court after they were caught trying to get on a plane with cannabis. One of the women was deceived by the foil in which she had wrapped the cannabis. The lady repeatedly set off a metal detector at an airport in New Zealand.

This rapidly alerted the officials, who eventually discovered the cannabis wrapped in foil in her bra. The woman had stored 28 small packages in her underwear. She was travelling with 50 g of cannabis. Her companion was also questioned by police at the Queenstown Airport. She was in turn found to have concealed about 40 g

of cannabis in different parts of her body. The pair were trying to reach Christchurch, found nearly 500km north east on the South Island.

The two ladies were deceived by the foil packaging. It is not known yet whether it is their first attempt at trying to get cannabis on board a plane.

Stephen Hawking’s Thoughts on the After World

Stephen Hawking’s Thoughts on the After World

Stephen Hawking clearly does not believe in the importance of God and the existence of heaven and hell if you are to read between the lines of his latest interview. The famed theoretical physicist could not find a place for heaven in his mental picture of the universe.

The 69 year old sees the human brain as a computer which will one day stop working once the internal components fail. Paralyzed by a motor neuron disease since his early twenties, Hawking says he is not afraid of death. While he has no hurry to die, he certainly believes he still has a lot of unaccomplished desires.

He also expressed himself of what he believed was a fear of death that many people have. The afterlife is only a fairy story according to Hawking. He also played down the role of God in getting the universe going. He may certainly have upset many of his fans and certain religious institutions with his interview.

Empty House Dials 911

Empty House Dials 911

House calls are not uncommon. However, this one was almost ridiculous. An empty Massachusetts house had been leaking for months. The floors were buckled and the ceilings sagged. The empty house inexplicably called the police for assistance. The damage had been taking place for a few months before the police intervened. An emergency call was launched after the phone system in Marblehead had been short circuited by the water emerging from the house.

It emerged that police officers reached the address soon after a call had been recorded. The call was recorded as a hang up. However, any return call failed to

materialize. Inside the house, officers were faced with the wreckage. There was possibly toxic mold that had leaked from a pipe which burst during winter. It is quite likely that the interior will have to be gutted according to Town officials. The owner could not be immediately located.

Firefighters Needed to Move Obese Patients

Ambulance officers are facing a new problem in Queensland-how to move obese patients. This is why firefighters have been called in to move those heavyweight patients. Indeed, the Queensland Ambulance Service has had to acquire bigger ambulances. They had to buy 3 new ambulances as well as 139 stair chairs in a bid to prevent injury to the paramedics.

Between July last time and April 2011, firefighters had to intervene at least 5 times a week to move disabled or obese patients. This represents an increase of about 33% compared to the previous year. This could simply be because ambulance officers were less keen to risk injury without the appropriate equipment previously.

While firefighters only seldom intervene to move obese patients, a spokesman revealed that it could prevent them from doing other more useful jobs. There has also been the case of a paramedic suing the Queensland Ambulance Service in 2009 after he was injured moving a 120kg patient.

German Insurance Company Offered Prostitutes to Its Workers

There are different ways you can reward your employees. However, a German insurance company probably went a step too far. They decided to arrange an orgy for their employees by inviting prostitutes for a party in a Hungarian spa. The top salesmen were invited to the orgy. The top 100 salesmen of the company were greeted by scantily dressed hostesses and some 20 prostitutes. This was revealed by Ergo spokesman Alexander Becker. However, he was keen to stress that the event was a

violation of the company’s values. Indeed, he has assured everyone that there will not be a second occurrence of what happened. While prostitution is legal in Germany and Hungary, those who had participated in the event have already left the insurance company. The directors of Ergo, a branch of Munich Re, were only informed of the orgy, once those who had organised it had already left the company.

Red Heads are Smarter

Hair Color The overall hue, tint, tone, and shade of your locks. What can hair color tell you? Plenty, says red-headed writer for Town and Country Magazine, Dan Rottenberg. He cites various studies that point to red heads being smarter. Since seeing is believing, we know they are brighter, at least

their locks are, but the rest of his theory is open to question. Because hair color is hereditary, there is at least some predictability. Among Caucasians of European origin, the only major racial subgroup with varied hair colors, the odds are 1 in 4 that a child will have one of his parent's overall hair color. Among other racial groups, hair color is almost invariably very dark brown or black. The following list represents the odds that a Caucasian American will have various hair colors:

Brown 7 in 10

Blonde 1 in 7

Black 1 in 10

Red 1 in 16 "

Rust Red" 1 in 33

Source: Clairol, Inc.

Funny Google Humor

Google Humor

As many long time users of the internet know there are some sweet and funny tricks for people who use Google as a search engine. Many of these tips were not put in by Google staff but by people manipulating search engine results by SEO and other methods. Here are some of the more funny results that can be found when using Google’s search engine. Again most of these results were not created by people who work at Google but are actual search results that Google has found based on search engine optimization. The First trick is if you go to google.com, type ‘French Military Victories’ and click I’m feeling lucky. What does Google ask you if you’re really searching for? You can also try searching for Chuck Norris. Go to www.google.com and type in Find Chuck Norris and click I’m feeling lucky. Google will give you an interesting error message on why it will not

search for Chuck Norris. If you want to see how Google Staffers think Elmer Fudd would read Google for you go to Google.com and type in ‘Ewmew Fudd’ and click I’m feeling lucky. This was in fact added by Google staffers and its quite funny indeed. Google has added many funny languages to its language pages that you can find in the settings option. These languages include Swedish Chef’s Bork Bork, Pig Latin, 1337sp34k, Klingon, Pirate and the previously mention Elmer Fudd. If you’re a late night person and stay up until 3:14 am you are going have a real treat if you’re a user of iGoogle’s themes. If you use the Beach theme at 3:14 am the Loch Ness Monster appears. Other themes included in the Easter Egg are Seasonal Scare which shows the Northern Lights and the City Scape which shows of the UFOs. Many other themes have Easter Eggs as well. This is believed to be a tribute to the number pi. In Google Translate if you try translating ‘James Bond’ into Chinese you get ‘007’ returned as a search result. There are many more results that you can find, and if you want to be creative you can even try making your own!

ShowJumping Cow

Showjumping Cows?

Showjumping isn't only for horses! A teenage girl in Germany has got her own back on her parents when they refused to get her a horse ... She "borrowed" a cow and taught it to showjump. The 15 year old girl, Regina Mayer, spent hours training her cow (called Luna) to go on long treks as well as show jump. "She thinks she's a horse" Regina commented. Sure must hurt when Luna's udders hit that cross bar!

One-Armed Can Carry Switchblades

Don't you love the lawmakers! In Maine, USA, they've just passed a law that allows folk with one arm to carry switchblades, while people with two arms can't. Spring-action knives are banned throughout most of the USA. But Maine has decided that one-armed people should be allowed the use of switch-blades to avoid opening folding knives with their teeth in emergencies. Obviously the spate of one-armed people going to hospital with self-inflicted knife wounds to the mouth was too much.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Man Tries to Board Train with His Pony

A man was caught this week trying to get on board of a train in Wales. Nothing surprising so far. However, he wanted to take his pony with him. The man bought a ticket for himself and tried to get one for his 4 legged friend. The incident occurred at Wrexham’s train station, in the northern part of Wales. The man wanted to travel to Holyhead with his animal friend.

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When Mice Attack Animals

John Gregory was surprised when he entered his piggery this week. He simply could not believe his eyes. There were mice everywhere attacking his animals. Ever since he realised the mice were feeding on his animals, he has been trying his utmost to get rid of the rodents.

Karate Classes Prove Their Worth

Karate training can be quite important at times. Indeed, a Kiwi waitress demonstrated the benefits of taking up some karate courses when she somehow managed to floor 2 male attackers. Two accurate punches were enough to knock out her aggressors, both twice as old as her.

All started in central Wellington when the young lady was heading home after a night shift last Saturday. She was suddenly attacked by an unsuspecting man from behind. According to detectives, her karate classes helped her. An elbow into the chest and a stump on the attacker’s foot helped her get away from the man. She was then attacked by the second male suspect, who tried to pull her handbag. She retaliated by punching him in the stomach. The detective was clearly impressed by the karate skills of the young lady. While he would not encourage most people to fight back, the way the woman acted needed some bravery.

Not so much a Weird Story but More Impressive

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